It’s still 1980s week over at Pajiba, so check out my retrospective review of Scarface.

We should have seen this coming. Why didn’t we see this coming?

As mentioned long ago, Brendan Frasier bailed on the kiddie flick scene — and it’s impossible to blame him for doing so after this nonsense — which means that his role in the sequel to Journey to the Center of the Earth sequel needed to be filled. Well, a replacement has been found:

Dwayne Johnson is strapping on a backpack for New Line’s “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island,” the sequel to “Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D.”

Brad Peyton is on board to direct the film, in which Josh Hutcherson will reprise his role as burgeoning explorer Sean Anderson. Beau Flynn and Tripp Vinson of Contrafilm are producing.

Brendan Fraser was the top draw in the 2008 movie but is not returning after hitting an impasse over start dates. That put New Line on track to find a new star, with the studio and Johnson dancing for several weeks before getting into it. Johnson is in negotiations, with a deal expected to close this week.

Johnson will play the boyfriend of Hutcherson’s mom, who Hutcherson is forced to bring on a trip to a mythical and monstrous island to find his missing grandfather. The script is loosely based on Jules Verne’s “The Mysterious Island.”

OH, hell. Do I even have anything left to say about this after The Tooth Fairy? Yeah, I think I do.

September 10 is the opening day for The Virginity Hit. You’ll want to mark that date on your calendars, because this movie, which sounds like the gazillionth iteration of Porky’s, is likely to be out of theatres and into your local convenience store’s discount DVD bin faster than you can say “nitwit teen sex comedy.” (Then again, it’s written and directed by Andrew Gurland and Huck Botko, the writers of the surprisingly successful The Last Exorcism, so it just might surprise everyone.) Meanwhile, the film’s marketing team is trying to generate some buzz with this billboard marketing campaign, which offers a bogus helpline number that will get you craptastic recorded advice about coping with virginity from the film’s cast and crew.

Someone connected with this is claiming that the campaign has local politicians up in arms in benighted places like Louisiana, Miami, San Diego, and Arizona. A Google news search won’t turn up any evidence of that, but the comments on various articles out there suggest that a fair number of people think this campaign goes a little over the line. Offensive or not, the movie’s likely to tank because the concept—a group of “friends” helping the pathetic noob in their gang get laid—is so incredibly trite. The fact that projects like this keep getting greenlit ad infinitum, ad nauseam, offers some rather disturbing insight into what life was like for studio execs in their teenage years.

Mystery Ass: Little known actress w/great one. (HT)

Matthew McConaughey looks like crap airbrushed. (CS)

Lindsay Lohan relates to Judy Garland… but not in the crackhead way. (CB)

Paris Hilton banned/blacklisted from Vegas hotspots. (POTP)

Justin Bieber & Shaq take it to the gutter. (SOMG)

Katy Perry wears cat ears to demonstrate quirkiness. (AG)

Don Johnson: Proof that the guy’s still alive! (GB)

Michael Lohan is selling his daughter’s belongings. (PB)

1980s Week with reviews of Say Anything, Back to the Future, Batman & Tron. More to come! (Pajiba)

35 Ingenious Life Hacks: Stuff you’ll actually use + free hotel porn! (NR)

Piranha 3D opened over the weekend, and, for those who didn’t see it (me, for instance), it did reasonably well—a 74 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and $18.3 million at the box office. Not spectacular, but enough to ensure the movie will earn back its modest $24 million budget. Among the movie’s fans, however, you will not find James Cameron, who trashed the movie as “an example of what we should not be doing in 3D” and added, “It just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3D horror films from the 1970s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3D.” (The fact that Mr. Cameron was fired as director of Piranha 2 is utterly irrelevant to this discussion, and shame on you and your cynicism.) But Cameron badly underestimated his opponent, just like Quarritch and those blue Thundercats. Piranha 3D producer Mark Canton responded with a 1400-word email that has to be read in its entirety to be believed. From the first paragraph:

Mr. Cameron, who singles himself out to be a visionary of movie-making, seems to have a small vision regarding any motion pictures that are not his own. It is amazing that in the movie-making process – which is certainly a team sport – that Cameron consistently celebrates himself out as though he is a team of one. His comments are ridiculous, self-serving and insulting to those of us who are not caught up in serving his ego and his rhetoric.

Lots more good stuff, reaching a peak with Canton’s observation: “Not everyone has the advantage of having endless amounts of money to play in their sandbox and to take ten years using other people’s money to make and market a film….like you do.” Cameron, who has rarely been accused of being a nice or gracious guy, probably won’t have the sense to walk away from this fight. But it’s starting to look as if that might be the smart thing to do.

Well, Purple Magazine didn’t have to do much in the way of styling for Chlöe Sevigny’s latest cover appearance.

Also, nice legs.

Imagery: Purple Magazine

Bloody hell! If this isn’t a recipe for disaster, then I suppose it’s also an illusion that Pete Doherty always remembers to zip his fly.

It seems that Pete has run out of goodwill — simply because he absolutely trashes every house that he resides within — where his various and sundry former landlords are concerned, and Amy has offered him a place to crash on an indefinite basis:

The Rehab singer has apparently offered The Libertines rocker a place to stay because he doesn’t have anywhere to live.

“Amy has offered Pete a place to stay while he’s in London working on The Libertines comeback,” a source said, “She thinks a lot of him and they’ve been through a lot together so she wants to help him out. But pals are worried because they are bad influences on each other.”

Now, what could possibly go wrong here? Well, other than playing mummy and daddy to a litter of mice:

Or, if you prefer, Revolucion (who did the awesome Baleout remix) has produced a Winemouse Remix for your listening pleasure.

“Mad Men” Photoshop Chop Job: Check it out. (Jezebel)

Salma Hayek’s Boobs: Always hard do ignore. (CS)

Kim Kardashian compliments Khloe’s “vagina.” WTF? (CB)

Shia LeBeouf still shows us the money. (SOMG)

Lauren Bacall’s Hidden Talent: Is that what Bogie meant? (lolebrity)

Who Wants To (Dirty) Dance With These Losers? (PB)

Lady Gaga doesn’t understand cancer concept. (POTP)

Sandra Bullock talks about being only boy in family. (GB)

Cher & Christina Aguilera turn into siamese twins. (AG)

The 5 Best & Worst Movies Of Summer 2010 (Pajiba)

10 Photos Capturing Moments of Spontaneous Badassery: Planning & forethought? (Cracked)

You want to hear more about Snoop Dogg, right? Of course you do. Based on a couple of very brief visits to the Strip, I always thought Las Vegas was essentially Epcot with rabies. But these days, it’s starting to look like a distinctly interesting town. First we get Paris Hilton stopping by long enough to get busted for drugs (drugs that, allegedly, she was planning to conceal in her Chamber of Horrors), and now we get Demi Moore and her male child bride behaving like a couple of damn fools at a Snoop Dogg concert. Evidently Demi was so caught up in the music that she couldn’t stop herself from joining Snoop onstage and showing off the smooth moves that made Striptease such a timeless cinematic gem. She also tried to get Ashton to join her, but he was more comfortable sitting back and cheering her on from the sidelines. (TMZ has the video here, if you’re interested.)

Okay, slow news day. There’s nothing wrong per se with dancing around and acting a little silly, and the Kutchers seem like a couple of noisy but basically harmless people. And not a few women would cheerfully bathe in the blood of Girl Scouts if they could look as good as Demi does a little more than two years out from her fiftieth birthday. But she’s getting a wee bit old for these Pamela Andersonesque escapades, and at a Snoop Dogg concert? Show some dignity, fer chrissake. Not to mention better musical taste.

Sometimes, I tend to think that Snoop Dogg is just fucking with all of us — what, with the country album, the umbrella holding assistant, and the bizarre German beer commercial — but when he starts shilling overpriced Landy Cognac (“the new generation cognac“), I’m inclined to believe that he’s for real (a real “supergangsta” sellout, that is). Hell, some of these Landy bottles sell for over $300 and even come with a blown-glass ship inside the bottle, which seems mildly excessive. At least he appears human to his fans though, as seen here at a signing in Philly:

Imagery: Wireimage