He’s just got an itch, right?

Yeah, I know that I really should stop picking on Robert Pattinson, but, you see, I have this aversion to his, uh, nasty-looking hair. So, despite the fact that a certain film director recently informed me that RPattz, for all practical purposes, happens to be a very nice person, I’m continuing to justify my stance on the fact that not one person has ever personally told me that this faux-vampire dude isn’t in dire need a shower.

So, if you’re wondering if I’m gonna go there…… fuck yeah, I’m totally going there.

In an interview with Blackbook magazine, Eli “Bear Jew” Roth reveals how, during the making of Inglourious Basterds, he “sort of became the Jewish technical advisor” to director Quentin Tarantino:

How so?
There were just certain psychological things that he would kind of gut check with me. Would a Jew do this? Or do you think this way? Before he wrote the last chapter, I came over in April of 2008 and said if you want real insight into Jewish psychology, you should come over to my Passover Seder at my house in Los Angeles. I’m not very religious, but my family celebrates Passover. He had never seen that side of me, because truthfully, I rarely let it out. So, he’s never really seen me as a Jew.

Did Quentin read from the Haggadah?
Oh yeah, we all did. I make everyone read. They don’t have to read it in Hebrew. We do it in Boston accents, Jewish accents, we have fun with it. But it always turns into real serious discussions about the Holocaust. Quentin was talking about absolution and the concept of absolution, and I said to him, you know, absolution really is a Christian concept. So the Jews, I was like, we collect interest. We just get angrier about stuff over the years. We don’t just forgive, and we don’t forget anything. I was like, I would kill every one of these motherfuckers. I wouldn’t forgive any of them.

So in that spirit was it cathartic for you, as a Jew, to be able to beat shit out of fake Nazis?
What I realized was not only was it cathartic for me, it was cathartic for them [the German actors]. They’re this whole generation of people who have nothing to do with it. They are burdened by what their grandparents did–this horrible, unthinkable thing, and they’re getting stuck with the blame for it. So all of us wanted to kill it. And the guy playing Hitler, and girls, they were like let’s fucking kill these guys. Let’s just do it. Kill them. They all had fantasies about killing these guys. So they wanted the deaths to be as violent as possible. It was like, let’s go kill them together and make a great scene.

This really is an excellent interview, and you can read the full thing here. In addition, Tarantino Archives brings us several new UK character posters, including Christoph Waltz as Colonel Landa, the Jew Hunter, Diane Kruger as double agent Bridget Van Hammersmark, Melanie Laurent as Shoshanna Dreyfus, and Brad Pitt as Lt. Aldo Raine.

Finally, if you missed it, here’s the latest and greatest trailer.

Recently, rumours of a Heathers sequel entered heavy rotation, but no one really knew if the original filmmakers could possibly be that stupid to bring the remaining characters back to ruin the spirit of this much beloved cult film. Then, in Issue #241 of Empire Magazine, Winona Ryder issued an unequivocal statement:

Whatever you hear, there is a sequel in the works, I swear to God! There is a story, and Christian [Slater] has agreed to come back as a kind of Obi-Wan character.

Unsurprisingly, the almost unanimous response to this announcement was something along the lines of “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” Obviously, Ryder and Slater (whose career highlight of the past decade was a a “Tarable” Uwe Boll film are well past their sell dates, and there really aren’t any lingering bits of plot that weren’t blown to smithereens at the end of Heathers. Interestingly, director Michael Lehmann, speaking to Movieline, was equally perplexed by Winona’s proclamation:

Recently, there’s been a huge resurgence of Heathers sequel buzz. Is that rooted in anything real?
No. Winona’s been talking about this for years — she brings it up every once in a while and Dan Waters and I will joke about it, but as far as I know there’s no script and no plans to do the sequel. A couple weeks ago everyone started talking about it and I guess Winona said the movie was gonna get made, and I thought, “I don’t know, maybe they did this without me?” But I got in touch with Dan Waters and he said he didn’t know anything about it. So I don’t think there’s any truth to it.

Is it gratifying at least that so many people appear to want a sequel?
It’s funny to me. I love Heathers and I loved doing that movie. I’m very proud of it, so if it gets brought up, I’m happy. Generally, though, I don’t like sequels at all. If the movie’s good the first time, why bother? With something like The Matrix, for example, it feels like a trilogy, or with a comic-book movie, those movies were based on something that was created in a serial format. So a movie as specific as Heathers, which took place in a specific time and specific place and in which many of the characters got killed off, I never thought it made sense to see a sequel.

Yes, it turns out that Winona Ryder and Christian Slater really are the only two people in the entire world who believe that a Heathers sequel is a great idea. Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.

Now that Chris Brown has gotten slapped on the wrist for punching her in the face, Rihanna was probably thinking that marked an end to her legal worries. Not so, and this time she has no one to blame but herself. Wednesday night Rihanna was visiting her pal BangBang, the tattooist responsible for defacing her lovely skin with a series of weird-ass images, at BangBang’s tattoo parlor East Side Ink. Evidently some of the employees decided it would be cute to introduce Rihanna to the fun side of tattooing—the side where you get to inflict pain, instead of suffering it—so Rihanna took up the needle and gave three of them little umbrella tats with a stylized “R.” Not a good idea. Aside from the fact that you could probably get a more skillful tattoo from a randomly chosen cellmate at Rikers Island, it’s highly illegal in New York for anyone but a licensed tattooist to wield the needle. Rihanna’s little stunt could cost her nearly $2000 in fines, and East Side Ink could be looking at some fines of their own for letting her use their equipment.

Normally I’d say Rihann’s victims also deserve some sort of fine for criminal stupidity. Possibly the only thing dumber than getting a band/musician tattoo is getting one from someone who’s never administered a tattoo before. But these people work in a tattoo parlor, so you know they already look like carnies. Once Rihanna’s star fades, her little umbrellas will be reworked into a tribal design or a flaming skull or something.

Mystery Ass: The player at her peak. (UMC)

Gary Coleman’s wife charged w/domestic violence. (CS)

Jennifer Aniston: Girlfriend, if this is true, just stop. (CB)

Naked Friday: A way to boost workplace morale? (KIsP)

The Jonas Lovers trashed a hotel room. Dorks. (WIMB)

Chris Isaak: Before he was famous. (SOMG)

Lady Gaga (NSFW) airs out the nips for attention. (AG)

A Song For Bernie Madoff: He ruins everything! (Heeb)

Courtney Love’s quick fix weight gain plan. (PB)

Diane Kruger debuts prototype for Frump Barbie. (Ayyyy!)

Bar Refaeli is naked, artsy & writhing on a couch. (TB)

Posh & Becks squint & try to look sexy in undies. (GB)

10 Most Patriotic Sci-Fi Movie & TV Moments: Robert Downey Jr. & apple pie, please. (SFW)

Thank goodness for Simon Pegg, who is the only redeemable player in Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. Here’s my review of this piece of crap movie. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a cinematic date with Johnny Depp and Christian fucking Bale.

Dee Snider, along with fellow members of 1980s glam rock band Twisted Sister, gathered at an NYC record store to celebrate the release of Stay Hungry’s 25th anniversary edition.

Dude looks much improved.

Imagery: Wireimage

Popbitch tells us that, in the Russian city of Omsk (located in southwestern Siberia) drastic measures are being taken by traffic police in an effort to tame errant motorists:

There are lifesize cardboard cut-outs of Brad Pitt dressed as a police officer all around Omsk, to help stop cars speeding.

Naturally, my mind instantly dreamed up luscious visions of full-bodied cardboard-constructed Brad Pitts or, perhaps, actual Brad Pitt clones twirling their nightsticks and, just maybe, performing body cavity searches. Yet, by the looks of the above photo (courtesy of Jalopnik), these are authentic Omsk police officers who merely wear cardboard “Brad Pitt masks.” Despite this grevious omission, Omsk officials have declared that both speeding and accidents are now greatly reduced. Essentially, Brad Pitt is doing his part to prevent Siberian traffic accidents, mostly due to the “What the fuck?” factor.

Bonus: Somewhere in Lake Como, screams of jealous rage can be overheard outside George Clooney’s Italian villa. Now, he’ll be forced to admit that his cop story isn’t quite so smooth.