File this under good news/bad news: The current cast of Jersey Shore will be history starting with the show’s third season. The guidos and guidettes made a collective demand for a major pay boost, and MTV decided it was time to remind this pack of monsters that they’re essentially a bunch of interchangeable parts. The new cast won’t be any better, but at least they won’t be these people. (Oddly enough, this is also good news for Jenni “JWOWW” Farley, who “cried her eyes out” when she learned she’d be returning for a second season. A few more insights like this, and she might yet escape from Pleasure Island and become a real girl.) The bad news: DJ Pauly D is making the most of his fifteen overly long minutes of fame and has become the new spokesthing for Baskin-Robbins. From last week’s press release:

Baskin-Robbins, America’s favorite neighborhood ice cream shop, is mixing it up with DJ Pauly D this summer to launch its new 31 Below™ Creations. Soft Serve lovers can beat the heat by spinning their own mix of creamy vanilla Soft Serve and candy toppings or by choosing from one of Baskin-Robbins’ new 31 Below flavors like Peanut Butter ‘N Chocolate and America’s Birthday Cake.

As a marketing strategy, this seems puzzling. Surely I’m not the only person out there whose approach to life could best be summed up as: “Don’t be DJ Pauly D.” Do not eat what he eats, don’t wear what he wears, don’t shag his skanks, don’t rub his chemicals into your skin. Honestly, if I learned DJ Pauly D was kind to stray dogs I’d find a strange new respect for Michael Vick. So it looks like Baskin-Robbins is off my list of summertime treats. I wonder what a cold Double Down tastes like?