Seeing how I’m teh uber slacker I’m post my Thanksgiving post a day late. But dear readers spending a day away from the intertubes really did give me a chance to reflect back on the impotent and important things in life and to be thankful for them.

I’m thankful for the typical stuff, a great job, a great bidness padna (gangsta for business partner ’cause that’s how I roll), a great wife, a healthy phinlet and a great family, but enough of the mushy stuff.

I too am thankful for Salma Hayek’s breasts. A thing of beauty they are. Damn it stop drooling. I’ll wait while you go get a paper towel to clean that mess, just make it snappy, I’ve got people to do and things to see.

I’m even thankful for you dear reader. Whether you’re the semi-witty commenter spending hours writing and rewriting the same two lines wondering if you’re going to sound uber-smart or like a n00b. Or maybe you’re one of the semi-regular commenters, for you we’re thankful too. Without those semi-regular comments we’d just think it was us and the voices in our heads around here. Not that 36 – 48 different personalities between the 3 – 4 of us is a bad thing, it’s just nice to have your input as well. Of course when our meds are working we’re down to the standard 2.5 personalities each. And you dear lurker, we’re thankful for you too! Even if you do kind of remind us of that weird 50 year old guy living in his parent’s basement. Just remember, we’ve always been nice to you, so mark us off that hit list you’ve started mkay? I mean we did deliver Salma’s breasteses.

I’m thankful for celebrity coloring books. You really don’t think a book by FedEx or Brit-Brit will have more than two one syllable words do you? Really she may be on her way to “reclaiming her hotness” but a brain surgeon she’ll never be.

I’m thankful that Brit-Brit remembered her mom’s advice and wears clean undies when she goes out in public. Hey you never know when you’re gonna be in a wreck, or maybe flash somebody with a camera. And If I had to suffer though another scary beaver shot (ala Parasite Hilton or Firecrotch Lohan) I might have gouged my eyes out. I think here at agent bedhead we’ll join the Permanent ban on Britney at least for the rest of the day. Primarily because we have Salma Hayeks breasts.

I’m not sure who Michelle Marsh is but I guess in all fairness we should be thankful for her breasticles also.

I too am thankful I’m not a celebrity. Mainly because it’s acceptable to fling poo at those more successful, if you want to call it that, than you, but its considered mean to poor crap on your minions, unless that’s their fetish.

I’m thankful for the Birdmen of Northern Virginia the LLama Butchers, who just turned three. Hell they make us seem normal.

But most of all dear reader, this morning I’m thankful for the bastard that signed me up for the daily Adam and Eve mailer. Without you I’d never know that I could buy 2,869 different pr0n videos for the low, low price of $9.99 a month, for the next 1,000 months or something. Hell I’ve just been trying to get off their mailing list for a month now.

As an aside could someone at least explain to me what this “G-Spot” thingy is they speak of and why you’d want it to reverberate so much?