Or their personalities, for that matter. Or Heidi’s boobs, or their ridiculous blonde hair, or anything else about these two phenomenally irritating creatures. It turns out that Heidi and Spencer’s quickie Mexican wedding might have been a big joke, pure bullshit from one end to the other. Heidi and that guy who puts the “prat” in Pratt were careful to arrange for photographers to tag along on their “elopement” and pimped out the non-event in an interview with Us Weekly, but they neglected to take care of a few other details. A marriage license, for example. Or a civil ceremony, which Mexico requires to make a marriage binding. Or a court petition, which California requires to recognize a Mexican marriage. But Us Magazine still believes the love was there, that’s the important thing:

Heidi and Spencer are two people in love who had a beautiful wedding ceremony to celebrate that,” Grossman said. “The pictures and words in our issue this week bear that out.”

Touching, Grossman. Who knew there was still room in show biz for a starry-eyed romantic like you? Me, I’m annoyed just to be reminded that this couple exists, and getting sucked in by one of their attention-whoring schemes drives the annoyance factor off the charts. I decline to write about any further Heidi/Spencer publicity stunts unless they involve the two of them getting ripped to shreds by Kodiak bears. That would put a smile on my face.