Hell, I slacked off for one day, and a backlog of Scientology-related news has accumulated. Not that I’m surprised, for the minions of David Miscavage seldom rest . . . they’re too busy running from the beatings. At any rate, a bit of good news for those who believe in the 1st Amendment, which has thwarted attempts by the CO$:

Recently, the “Church” of Scientology pushed an ordinance in Riverside County, California, to keep “members” of the group Anonymous away from their fortress-like Gold Base, and it was passed almost unanimously by Riverside County supervisors. But today, Riverside County decided to back away from that decision, at least for now because of the inevitable fall-out from such a restrictive ordinance.

The ordinance pushed by the “Church” would restrict picketers by prohibiting them from protesting within 300 feet of Gold Base. The “Church” and their friend inside Riverside County, Supervisor Jeff Stone, argued that Gold Base is a residential area, and there is already a law that prohibits picketers from picketing a person’s home.

Isn’t it lovely how Scientology fought for decades to assert its religious status for IRS purposes but now argues for residential status as well? Fortunately, it didn’t work this time. Oh, and speaking of nuts, if you’re in the Chicago Washington D.C. area, “A Very Merry Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant” is currently running at the Landless Theatre Company. During events, their concession stand sells $1 beers, so check it out.

Next Up: More massive sums of money spill forth from the hands of Will Smith, who curiously donated a shitload of money to a church that he publicly rebuffs:

Will Smith gives generously to many causes, and one of them is the Church of Scientology. A report on his charitable foundation’s tax return shows that $122,500 was donated to the Scientology causes, out of $1.3 million given overall.
He also gave a combined $122,500 to the Church of Scientology, broken into these donations: $67,500 to the New York Rescue Workers Detoxication Fund, $50,000 to the group’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood and $5,000 to ABLE, another Scientology offshoot.

Yep, and $122,500 doesn’t even cover Smith’s newly-opened New Village Academy, which we wrote about in early September:

Now, onto the timely (and rather convoluted) issue of Will Smith’s New Village Academy, which opened its doors on Monday. Over this past summer, Katie at Celebitchy, who holds a master’s degree in education, performed some in-depth research on Smith’s school. In one article, she established that most of the school’s educational terminology, up to and including the school’s motto (“Spiraling Up!”) is built upon loaded language, or cult-speak words that are unique to Scientology. Her entire article is incredibly informative, so you should read the entire thing, but Katie ultimately concluded that NVA is, in actuality, “A Scientology school disguised as a progressive private school.” In a second Celebitchy article, Katie further discussed evidence that the philosophy, “ethics,” mission, and key terminology of Smith’s school have been lifted straight out of Scientology scriptures. Further, Will Smith acknowledges that his school’s methodology is indeed L. Ron Hubbard’s Study Tech.

Oh, Will. I remember when you were so funky fresh. However, a not-so-fresh lady, Jennifer Lopez, is also falling into the Scions’ lair. Lopez is said to be on the rocks with third-husband Marc Anthony According to US Weekly, the couple has been spotted sans wedding bands, and Lopez has had it with Anthony’s stinginess in letting her show off her massive ass. Further, Lopez allegedly blames Anthony for the failure of their vanity project, El Cantante. Oh yes, of course it’s his fault because the lead actress of Gigli can do no wrong. However, the most telling aspect of this crumbling marriage is that Lopez’s BFF, Leah Remini, has been pushing the Scientology on Lopez and doing the whole “Suppressive Person” routine in regards to the Catholic husband. Since Lopez’s career is basically nonexistent at this point, it’s gonna be pretty easy to pull her into the cult. That’s what the Scions do–reel celebs in at their low points and reprogram as desired. Good times, mates.