Paris Hilton’s first quarter-century of existence has been largely achievement-free, by anyone’s standards but her own. But now she’s set a record that’s likely to stand for a long, long time to come: Her new movie, The Hottie and the Nottie, has been voted the worst movie of all time by users of IMDb, who gave the abortion an average rating of just 1.2 out of 10. That makes the Rotten Tomatoes 7 percent rating look almost kind, but the reviews at RT are crawling with comments like, “excruciatingly, painfully, horribly, terribly awful,” “utterly worthless, unfunny sack of pain,” and “crass, shrill, disingenuous, tawdry, mean-spirited, vulgar, idiotic, boring, slapdash.” Reviewers might have to start drafting adjectives from other languages to do justice to this movie.

But the biggest smackdown came from regular moviegoers, notties like you and me. In its first three days of release, playing in 111 theatres, The Hottie and the Nottie took in $27,696. More or less. That works out to 31 viewers per theatre over the entire weekend, meaning that an audience of three would have been a standout success. Jessica Simpson must be very happy indeed that she’s finally got someone to look down on, and Paris now has hard, documentary evidence that she is truly the Bob Beamon of suckitude.