Dear John Edwards,
I was glad to see you decided to finally fix that poverty thing. What an eyesore! Could you also focus your magic on that other unsightly pain-in-the-butt called male-pattern baldness? We weren’t all blessed with your slippery, Breck-soft tresses, & most of us do Supercuts, not that $400 haircut queen who had a bit part on 90210. BTW, did he give you any good shit on Tori Spelling??
Looks like the tabloids are at it again with that Baby Daddy shit. Apparently that Rielle Hunter chicklet - or as you probably know her, Lisa Druck - is a real skank & a star fucker. It would be awful if Obama heard those money-laundering rumors! After all, everyone knows how you feel about your sick, cancer-riddled wife:
It’s fundamental to how you judge people & human character — whether you keep your word, whether you keep what
is your ultimate word, which is that you love your spouse, & you’ll stay with them.
I suggest you contact a trial lawyer & get a simple Identigene DNA test, available at your local Rite Aide for $29.99, to settle this Baby Daddy nonsense. You can get those bastards for libel & watch the money roll in, like when you did that Sylvia Browne impersonation for cerebral palsy HA!
Your fan,
Jeff
4 comments
Many see male pattern baldness as a challenge. To me, it has been an opportunity.
Thank God for Jean-Luc Picard and for the generation of women he inspired.
Oh, great. I just took a nap and had a dream about Brendan Fraser.
When I asked him about his hair plugs, he shot me. So, not a sex dream, obviously.
Syvia Brown gives me the creeps.
I wish i could’ve found a screenshot of her picking her teeth with her catlike fingernail while slouched on the Montel set
When I asked him about his hair plugs, he shot me. So, not a sex dream, obviously.
So…he shot you with his gun, and not his pistol? and that’s not a sex dream how?
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