Although in Courtney’s case, you might well skip the “moment of pleasure” middleman and cut straight to that gigantic regret payoff. At any rate, consider this your official warning: Courtney love is on the prowl and looking for romance, despite her belief that sex is overrated. “Most of the guys I sleep with have tended to be actors and musicians and directors. And they tend to be lousy lays.” So do women who run their mouths 36 hours a day, particularly if they’re both incredibly narcissistic and not at all introspective. But if Courtney Love isn’t your ideal partner, no worries: the odds are, you wouldn’t meet her standards:

[These] days I’m only interested in plutocrats. Like really, really rich guys. I’m determined to land one sooner or later. My favorite book these days is something called The Official Filthy Rich Handbook, which I study like the Talmud.”

So Courtney’s refreshingly straightforward “How much did you say your name was?” approach probably eliminates most readers of this blog. And, of course, me. Kind of a pity, really. I take to messed-up relationships like a duck to water. And I have a feeling Courtney would have found my lovemaking style comfortingly familiar.