“Our great country is in a terrible downward spiral. We’re outsourcing jobs, bankrupting social security, and losing lives at war. We need to focus on what’s important– paying attention to our children, our citizens, our future. We need to think about improving our failing educational system, making better use of our resources, and helping to promote a stable, safe, and tolerant global society. It’s time to be smart about our politics. It’s time to get America back on track.” – WALKEN IN 2008

Well, I guess those naysayers were right. The Christopher Walken Presidential Bid really was just a hoax. Of course, I would have mentioned this earlier, but I’m trying to cut back on my preemptive leaps to judgment. Seriously, there’s nothing that would inspire more hope that tuning into the State of the Union address and hearing Walken tell us the following message: “You’re all a bunch of fuckheads.” Clearly, we’re not worthy.