Well, that didn’t last long. One-hit wonder Katy Perry used a conference call with reporters on Thursday to retract Tuesday’s “vow of celibacy” and to assure everyone that her vagina is open for business. The whole thing was a big joke, she said, “and any fine journalist would have gotten that.” Apparently “big joke” is Katy-speak for “lame-ass bid for gratuitous media attention.” Katy went on to say that she’d rather be dead than go without sex for a year, although she might be a little more selective about her partners. Considering she just broke up with Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes, that shouldn’t be too difficult.

Bah. The most infuriating thing about this “big joke” is that typing a single syllable about it makes me a pawn in Katy’s little game. Although it’s worth noting from the first link that she named her cat Kitty Purry. That’s not only the most significant fact in this whole charade, it’s the most creative thing I’ve ever heard from Katy Perry.