Evidently the rumors are true. Evan Rachel Wood and Mickey Rourke are officially a couple, and one that makes the one-night stand between Marv and Goldie in Sin City look as utterly realistic as a Mike Leigh movie. This just might be the greatest Hollywood romance of 2009, and if you’d like that smothered in awesome sauce, consider the fact that the two lovebirds met while Evan was playing Mickey’s daughter in The Wrestler. I decline even to start with the jokes to be made here, because this post would run on for three or four pages before I started to lose steam.

Oddly enough, I find this story perversely inspiring, and it gives Evan Rachel Wood a very special place in my heart. She has everything I look for in a woman: beauty, talent, and psychotically poor taste in men. Sooner or later, Evan is going to decide that Mickey Rourke is just one more Hollywood pretty boy, and when that day comes I plan to pounce like a tiger.