Actually, It’s Pronounced “Sexcrest”

By Mr. Atoz in Male Whores, Vanity

This seems to be the companion piece to yesterday’s Clay Aiken post. Clay, who many suspected was absolutely throbbing with repressed, queenly gayness, revealed that he actually has the sex drive of one of the less vivacious marine invertebrates—an oyster, or something along those lines. Now Ryan Seacrest, a man widely—and rightly—thought to be roughly as yummy as a bucket of chicken deep fried in Brylcreem, has been named one of the year’s sexiest men by Victoria’s Secret. “What’s sexy about [Seacrest] is he doesn’t act like he is,” according to a VS spokesperson. “We felt that his smile was quite sexy—in a very subtle and innocent and humble way.”

The link gives the complete list of honorees for the 2008 What Is Sexy? list, and it’s, umm… interesting. Let’s just say that if you read down far enough, you’ll discover that Fergie made the cut. Apparently when Victoria’s Secret asks, “What Is Sexy?”, it’s not just a rhetorical question.



6 Feedbacks on "Actually, It’s Pronounced “Sexcrest”"

Darth Paul

Grossify me. He’s a clone-hobgoblin…not sexy AT ALL. Most of the rest of the list is bemusing, save Eric Bana and Katherine Heigl.



Mr. Atoz

“Bemusing” is a good word for it, Darth Paul. Not actively hideous people, mostly, but it still reads like they drew the names out of a hat.



Lisa

Ali Larter does have smokin’ hot legs. But “Sexiest Funnyman: Dane Cook”? Um. What? He’s neither sexy, nor funny. For shame, Victoria’s secret. For. Shame.



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[...] You can just call him Ryan Sexcrest - AB [...]



The Britney and Xenu Variety Show » Ayyyy!

[...] Ryan Secrest is a Victoria’s Secret angel (AgentBedhead) [...]



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