Christina Aguilera’s packaged scent, “Simply Christina,” won’t be released until fall, but early reports say the perfume smells about as appealing as the front seat of Paris Hilton’s car (circa December 2006). In addition, the presentation of the perfume itself was apparently tacky. As if we expected anything as completely fake and stylized as, say, “Intimately Beckham,” for fuck’s sake.

On a brighter note, X-tina “currently being lined up” to portray Tempest Storm, the legendary burlesque stripper who showed off her boobies to JFK and Elvis Presley, in a biopic film:

A source revealed to the Daily Star: “The role of Tempest has Christina’s name written all over it.

“She’s got the looks - and the moves. People forget the singer has an acting background”. [sic]

It’s rather amusing that most sexpots of a certain era are generally mentioned in association with JFK. Of course, I’d elaborate, but the last thing we wanna do is increase our “EWWWW” factor around here, and besides, I have a fucking earache attached to a wisdom tooth. Good times.

Images: Gossip Rocks