Okay, I guess there are worse things in the world than American Idol. NBC has announced that it will be bringing the 80s-90s cheesefest American Gladiator back to the small screen, which is just inches away from an official declaration that the network is completely out of ideas. NBC co-chair Ben Silverman has had his Klingon-like eyebrows focused on the idea for some time now, and the reanimated Gladiator is currently on track to make a mid-season premiere some time around the beginning of the year. According to Craig Plestis, head of alternative programming at the peacock network, “The ‘gladiator’ brand is unlike anything on television today, and is event programming at its biggest and best.”

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Gladiator is exactly like half of prime-time network television today—hell, the series more or less spawned Idol and the rest of the “reality” competitions. And I question whether Gladiator was, is, or ever could be an example of event programming or anything else at its biggest and best. In fact, I can hardly wait for the opportunity to not watch this monstrosity. Unless they bring back the Atlasphere. The human-sized hamster ball just might be enough to overcome even my sales resistance.