Contrary to what you might think, Amy Winehouse’s life is not one continuous round of booze, drugs, and fighting. The “troubled singer” no doubt vaguely aware that she looks like Gollum’s less hygienic sister, has bought a personal tanning bed to improve her appearance. Not a bad idea, really. A daily dose of UV would do Amy some good, as long as she’s conscientious and takes account of the possible risks associated with tanning beds. HAHAHA!! Just kidding. This is, after all, Amy Winehouse:

The five-time Grammy award winner and “Rehab” singer has been said to spend more than an hour a day soaking up ultraviolet rays, and sometimes fall asleep underneath her sunbed’s powerful lamps. Experts usually recommend sessions that last a third as long, with at least 48 hours between sessions to allow the skin to heal.

The link quotes an anonymous friend, who says: “This is another addiction that puts her health in danger. Why can’t she take up squash or something?” So now skin cancer can join emphysema, cirrhosis, and general systemic collapse in the Amy Winehouse Death Pool. There’s really no hope for the girl. Even if she swapped her druggie ways for something moderately healthy — like, say, eating — in the Amyverse that would probably translate into a sick compulsion for devouring whole boxes of Cap’n Crunch in a single sitting, and within six weeks she’d look like the Graf Zeppelin with a beehive.