Robert Downey Jr. has made it clear there’ll be no sequel to Tropic Thunder. I guess that’s understandable, since Tropic Thunder scriptwriter Etan Cohen is hard at work trying to wring a 100-page script out of the board game Candyland, which is sort of like Teletubbies minus the action and with a more garish color scheme. It’s all part of Universal Studios’ deal with the devil, aka Hasbro Toys, to produce at least four movies out of Hasbro’s stable of woefully outdated board games. Ridley Scott is already committed to directing Monopoly—The Movie, presumably while Universal and Hasbro hold his loved ones at an undisclosed location, and the Battleship and Ouija Board movies are lurking somewhere just over the horizon.

To be honest, the only way I’d see Candyland–The Movie is if every ticket came with about six complimentary tabs of acid, and none of the other projects are any more likely to lure me into the theatre. I think I’ll hold out for Operation—The Movie. Lionsgate will probably jump on the rights for that one.