Not to worry, everybody. We won”””t post every new development in the Trump vs. O”””Donnell Grudge Match of the Millennium. But those of you who aren”””t following along are missing some awesome celebrity trash talk. Just to bring you up to date:

1) Reigning Miss USA Tara Conner, the putative role model for American girls who think Bratz are too ”””goody-goody,””? is threatened with dismissal for acting like a chick in a Girls Gone Wild video;

2) Donald Trump, owner of the Miss USA franchise, forgives Tara and welcomes her back to the fold in a tearful reconciliation;

3) Rosie O”””Donnell yanks out her View megaphone and calls Trump a) a no-good hypocrite and b) ”””a snake-oil salesman;””?

4) In his rebuttal, Trump points out that Rosie is a) unattractive; b) vulgar; c) a failure; d) stupid; e) really unattractive; f) dating out of her weight class; g) a liar; and h) kind of attractive, in a financially vulnerable, potential-lawsuit kind of way;

5) Which causes Rosie to post various allegations about Trump”””s finances on that blog of hers that makes Lindsay Lohan”””s emails read like Jeane Kirkpatrick;

6) At which point Trump calls in to morning talk show Good Day L.A., just to remind people that Rosie is stupid and really, profoundly, extremely unattractive. Also, she”””s a bully, and she resembles a clam (which I flatly refuse to think about);

7) Prompting Rosie to tell reporters that Trump is a lying liar who”””s just out for publicity, and basically ”””a hot bag of wind.””? She also spoke of his toupee in a disrespectful manner.

Meanwhile, Barbara Walters””” publicist said that Ms. Walters was ”””vacationing in the middle of nowhere””? and would have no comment for the foreseeable future. No more posts until we reach the knife-fighting portion of our competition, ladies and gentlemen. Another two hours or so, and an update would be five pages long.