In a story that couldn’t be timed better, animal rights activist/golddigger Heather Mills has been accused of scaring a woman’s dog to death. Sandra Rowbury, who lives next door to Mills, claimed that her Weimaraner Glow died of a bloated gut after Mills put on a 20-minute, $20,000 fireworks display as part of the $200,000 party she threw for her daughter’s fourth birthday. (This sounds suspiciously as if the animal might have farted itself to death, but the article says that bloat can be brought on by stress and is quickly fatal.) The highly credible Sun goes out of its way to make Heather sound like something from the court of Louis XVI, with lines like this:

The 20 minutes of bangs and flashes — which came without warning in a quiet rural area — also caused 15 of her horses to stampede in terror, as animal rights activist Mucca and pals sipped champagne.

A spokesman for Mills said: “If this dog has died Heather will be absolutely devastated. She is a great animal lover. She’d want to apologise to this lady if the fireworks caused her animals any distress.” This is probably true. All the same, it’s easy to see why Paul McCartney might think Heather might not make the best use of the £60 million divorce settlement she gouged out of him.