The latest NME Shockwaves Awards ceremony has passed, and and this marks the fourth such ceremony since we took notice of the scab-ridden Pete Doherty. Somehow, the bloke still alive, I guess, which means that all of those random death pools that we used to hear about have long since given up on ol’ Peter. Seriously, when some wayward world leader slips up and pushes that nuclear button, it’s gonna be Pete Doherty and the cockroaches, which means that, essentially, he is our only hope for the future of humanity. How smashing!
In 2006, the civilized world was awestruck when Pete Doherty was dubbed Sexiest Man by NME readers. Then, it happened again in 2007, and Doherty re-accepted his award while sporting a fetching chunk of ear wax. Also in attendance was the 2007 Sexiest Woman, Kate “The One That Got Away” Moss.
In 2008, Peter lost his Sexiest Man trilby but picked up the Hero Of The Year award. Unfortunately, Peter was unable to attend that particular NME Shockwaves Awards ceremony, for he was in the midst of a mandatory exile from the London city limits. Incidentally, Barack Obama has picked up the 2009 Hero Of The Year award, which I’m sure required a professional cleaning and complete overhaul of the back end, if you catch my drift.
Now, the NME Shockwaves Awards 2009 have continued their strange tradition of handing Peter a seemingly random and altogether unfitting title. After crowing Oasis the Best British Band and the Jonas Brothers the Worst Band, Doherty was named “Best Solo Artist,” which isn’t so much disputed as it is impossible. You see, Peter’s first solo album isn’t due to be released until March 16, which makes this little “award” a bit premature, don’t you think, mates?
What’s even creepier is that Peter also played a musical set at this year’s NME ceremony, during which, as the Daily Star notes, he was suspiciously “on time and looking healthy.” Such a statement virtually guarantees that, next month, some incriminating video footage will surface. Something like Peter frolicking in a field, surrounded by fluffy white bunnies, while he tightens the tourniquet, aims the needle, and yells, “Oiiii! What a waster, mate!”
Below, check out the first single, “Last of the English Roses,” for Doherty’s impending solo album:
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2 comments
It’s really not that impossible of an award. Peter has been performing solo shows in addition to the Libs and Shambles for years, and has released a number of solo sessions to the Internet. His official solo album isn’t released until next month, true, but I don’t think that disqualifies him from consideration.
Also, why haven’t you posted the official LotER vid that’s up on Parlophone’s MySpace? It’s a much better video.
[...] Pete Doherty hasn’t changed much over the years [...]