As previously discussed, the insufferable Gwyneth Paltrow has made a habit of injecting her own riveting life questions (remember Winona “Frenemy” Ryder?) into her Goop newsletter/website. Naturally, GPal believes that the pedestrians can’t read between her snottily scribbled lines, which only makes things more fun for us. This week, Gwyneth is musing about “Friendship Divorce,” and she has her “experts” weigh in on the following intro:

What do you do when you realize that although you may have years of history, and found real value in each other in times past, that you kind of don’t like a friend anymore? That, after time spent with this person, you feel drained, empty, belittled or insulted. My father always used to tell me that, “you can’t make new old friends.” How do you distinguish if someone in your life makes you change for the better or if you are better off without them?

Let’s be honest and acknowledge that we don’t care about what her “experts” have to say on this matter. We want to know who GPal is “divorcing,” and GPal’s Pals is a highly exclusive club with very few members. Soooo, is it Madonna? Kate Hudson? Beyonce?

Recently, rumours of a Heathers sequel entered heavy rotation, but no one really knew if the original filmmakers could possibly be that stupid to bring the remaining characters back to ruin the spirit of this much beloved cult…

Not too terribly long ago, a story over at Celebitchy discussed Winona Ryder and the lingering effects of dating one Johnny Depp:

I don’t really think Winona’s a bad person, she just comes across as screwed up

…

Or “Reality Bites,” if you want an even more derivative title. The end of her relationship with Blake Sennett has hit Winona Ryder hard, and last week the dangerously unstable movie star and future mother of my…