It’s been a while since we did a post on Tila Tequila, mostly because quite some time ago she crossed the line between being an entertainingly horrid quasi-celebrity and being a sad, clinically insane little person, and it’s not right to be an enabler for someone with problems like that. But she still has a career of sorts, and it seems entirely appropriate that she’ll be appearing at the Eleventh Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, along with Lil Kim, Ron Jeremy, Vanilla Ice, and many other people you’d probably pay good money never to see at all. ICP has a long, long video describing the festivities, and it speaks well for the guys that not once in more than seventeen minutes do they make a tasteless “Insane Clown Posse” pun with reference to Ms. Tequila. Still, it’s quite possible you’ve got something better to do with those seventeen-plus minutes—buffing your corns, something like that—so MTV has compiled a list of the high points. Here’s a brief sample:

04:31 Awesome Dre can barely believe that Tom Green will be performing at the comedy tent. The clip they cut to is extremely odd, even for Green, as he only says, “First, a word from Vitamin Water.” Are we just supposed to laugh at his beard?
04:48 Dre also assures us that the Gallagher appearing at the comedy tent is the real Gallagher and not “that fake-ass Gilligan motherf—er.”
09:23 Our hosts lay out the philosophy of the Gathering: Because “ain’t no two Juggalos alike,” it’s best to “have a little bit of everything.”
10:55 You’ll never be bored at the Gathering, because (and I quote), there is “fresh and exciting s— to do all around the f—ing clizzock.” That includes midway games, carnival rides and the mysterious draw of “seminars.”
11:39 “If you like midgets, we’ve got midgets for you.”

And, of course, the infomercial manages to note in the first 48 seconds that “you’ll probably get laid.” Along with those mysterious “seminars,” that sounds a lot more like a threat than a promise. The Eleventh Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, people. Be there or be herpes negative.