And by “juice,” of course, I mean elk semen. Barry Bonds’ use of steroids is a matter of record at this point, but a few weeks ago SFWeekly.com made some rather remarkable allegations about Bonds’ substance abuse. Read the article here, but this is the unembedded URL, just because it’s not every day you see one this awesome:
http://www.sfweekly.com/2007-09-26/news/barry-bonds-drinks-elk-semen-lactates-shoots-hgh-in-scrotum-former-trainer-tells-all/full
The article is a bit longish, so for the ADHD-challenged segment of our readers, here’s the money quote:

• Desperate to combat the testicular shrinkage that can occur with steroids use, Bonds injected human growth hormone directly into his genitals during the 2002 playoffs — with disastrous results for both him and the Giants.

• In early 2003, owing to the performance-enhancing drugs coursing through his body, Bonds suddenly began lactating, forcing doctors to excise his mammary glands.

• Wary of taking steroids since the BALCO flap broke, Bonds, intent on maintaining his edge, now supplements his diet with “Barry’s brew,” a homemade high-energy drink made of elk semen that has yielded its own troubling side effects.

Of course, there might be some credibility issues with an article written by “Nic Foit” and “Ira Tes” (think anagrams, people), but I’m trying to overcome my suspicions. Dammit, I want to believe.

(Via Fark.)