While NASA’s science boffins (love that word) continue to search the universe for signs of intelligent life, it’s increasingly clear that they can cross Earth off their list. Latest evidence: thousands of people, maybe more, seem to think that 2012, Roland Emmerich’s latest kablooeyfest, is some sort of hard-hitting documentary about what awaits us all in two years and a bit. Some blame the movie’s viral advertising campaign, focusing on “realistic” websites like this one. I’m more inclined to blame a widespread outbreak of “brain-like-a-dessicated-walnut” syndrome, but whatever. Either way, NASA has been flooded with requests from concerned citizens who are wondering if the earth’s imminent rotation reversal means they should stock up on canned food. Boffin David Morrison is fielding the questions on his website, but professional bedwetter Warren Betts insists the panic is spreading:

…[P]eople are really, really worried about the world coming to an end. Kids are contemplating suicide. Adults tell me they can’t sleep and can’t stop crying. There are people who are really, really scared. People are very gullible…. It’s a sad testimonial that you need NASA to tell you the world’s not going to end.”

According to the link, highly ignorant people who worry about this stuff may suffer from “cosmophobia,” a generalized fear of the cosmos. Usually I’m no fan of made-up diseases, but this one can’t spread quickly enough. With any luck the victims will curl up into their own Schwarzschild radii and disappear, leaving the rest of us alone. In the meantime, news like this makes American politics look way too understandable.