Men prepare to be blown away be the latest fad in swim wear from Australia, surely to hit beaches near you within the next century, Allah willing.

CRONULLA, AUSTRALIA – It’s a sweltering day, and the beach is packed with suntanned bodies. Girls in swimsuits lounge on the sand while their boyfriends cradle surfboards.

Mecca Laalaa is the lone exception. Instead of a barely there bikini, she’s in a burqini - a top-to-toe two-piece lycra suit complete with hijab, or Islamic head covering.

Loose enough to preserve Muslim modesty, but light enough to enable swimming, the burqini, taking its name from the burqa, is at the forefront of a dramatic shift within Australia’s iconic surf lifesaving clubs.

Its a bikini, its a burqa its a BURQINI!!!! I realize the Islamic faith ain’t what you’d call “equal opportunity”, but really would it be so bad to “convert” Paris, Britney, Lindsay and the ten million other chicks who stroll around muffin topping? Really would it? Sure the celebtard pics and muse would slow to a trickle, but think now much better off our societies would be.

Quiz time. Would you rather see this (I wouldn’t recommend peeking if you’re eating):

Or this (Totally palate friendly isn’t it?):

Can’t wait to order one for the nasty skank in your life? Place your orders Order online and you too can write rave reviews like this:

After I converted, I gave up swimming as there were no women-only swimming options where I live. After several years I decided to give it a try in a modest suit and see how it went. I tried a Turkish swimsuit from ****** I found myself very uncomfortable - that style of suit is totally impractical - the velcro from the hood hurts my chin and the hijab doesn’t stay in place The suit is awkward and has zippers, ties and velcro that are ineffective and just uncomfortable…

…Now that I have your suit I am thrilled. It is comfortable, the hood covers well and stays in place, the top is tied down so it doesn’t ride up, the suit actually looks and feels like a swimsuit. In the water, I look like a real swimmer wearing a full body suit or scuba suit - but modest.

Now run along before I stone you for being a harlot and / or having impure thoughts.

Investigative work by The Urban Grind.