At Agent Bedhead, we ♥ capitalism and encourage it in all its decadent glory. Naturally, we were thrilled to find that both Louis Vuitton and Campari have pulled out full stop high-profile advert campaigns with Scarlett Johannson and Salma Hayek lending their respective images to the rightful cause.

In Scarlett’s second appearance for the luxury bagmaker, Vuitton tells us two things:

1. One would do well to spend less money on clothes, as thriftiness in all other matters is the only opportunity to afford our luggage.
2. It is perfectly acceptable to walk around half-naked because it no one will notice due to our fucking awesome luggage!

Ahem. Oh poor Louis Vuitton . . . he does not realize that no one is looking at his fucking ugly bags but rather at Scarlett. Her whimsical appearance portrays a 1950’s sort of glamour, which also sort of of explains the ghastly pink hair at the opening of The Prestige. Such continuity is important to seekers of gossip. It necessitates mention that when I ran Scarlett’s images under an autocolor filter to negate the effects of airbrushing, the pinkness was not so soft and pleasant as it appears in the advert campaign. Obviously, I won’t post these shots for fear of legal repercussions.

As quaint and fanciful as the Vuitton campaign appears, an equally brazen and forthcoming set of photographs comes from drink label Campari. In this sexy ad campaign, one is given the following impression: “Drink Campari and You Too Can Gangbang Salma Hayek.”

Campari images via Gorilla Mask. The Louis Vuitton images are fucking everywhere already, so that source is fairly ambiguous.