The annual Cannes Film Festival is a hotbed of wheeling and dealing, where thousands of script ideas are pitched in hopes of lining up backers. Of course, 99 percent of those ideas are really, really awful. But most of them are in the Citizen Kane category compared to Uwe Boll’s latest project Janjaweed (they’ve changed the title), where Germany’s greatest living director turns his attention to the ongoing genocide in Darfur. And you thought there was no way to compound this atrocity. Filmdrunk caught up with Uwe in Cannes, where he’s publicizing this project with no perceptible sense of shame. (Quoted from Filmdrunk, for their awesome transcription of Boll-speak):

Za first risk ees zat za voman, who vas raped and haff AIDs now, zey are now actors ant zey have to recreate zat. Za secont risk ees za American actors who play all za journalists going to Sudan. I didn’t wrote dialog for zees guys, I basically only create characters oont za situations… On za first day of shooting, I realize some of za actors vere not used to it and zey had problems viss improvisation.”

Great. A movie about an immense human tragedy, smeared up with Uwe Boll’s grubby thumbprints, featuring dialogue improvised by the chick from BloodRayne. (Not to mention Billy Zane and Edward Furlong, who must have done something terrible in their previous lives.) In a just world, Uwe Boll would have the starring role in the German version of Ow! My Balls! But at this point, I’d be satisfied if he went back to ripping off video games and never attempted to make a statement on a serious subject.