It’s an illustrious club, reserved only for the worst hair offenders and, mostly, people who can afford to do better: Donald Trump and his bird of paradise, Brendan Fraser (who is still fucking with us) and his hair plugs of doom, Kate Moss and her errant extensions, & Viggo Mortensen and his product problem. The possession of such consistently awful hair is never an easy thing to pull off. So, congratulations to Russell Brand for entering the Bedhead Hall Of Shame based upon the following recommendations:

• Family Of Slugs Move Into Russell Brand’s Hair: “I love Russell. Under that hair he is very good looking.” (Mirror UK)
• Worse Than A Solar Eclipse: “Russell Brand’s hair is so shiny, doctors say I will never regain my eye sight.” (RBFS)
• On What Goes In His Hair: “Mostly orphans’ tears, old clock parts, lizard’s tails, spit, the concept of freedom.”
• Talking About Himself Again: “I release charisma through my scalp. It holds my hair up.”

Seriously, though, Russell Brand actually earned a bit of my respect when he condemned his own shitty behavior of heading to work (on Sept. 12, 2001) dressed as Osama bin Laden on MTV UK:

I was taking loads of crack and heroin. And I was a little bit excited because I’d been talking about Osama bin Laden for ages before that, right? So it was kind of like when a band breaks that you’ve liked for ages. I was like, “I told you this guy was gonna be big!” Still, what I did was deeply regrettable. I mean no disrespect to the thousands who lost their lives in that terrible tragedy. It was a very, very stupid thing to have done.

Acknowledgment and repentance do wonders, don’t they? Russell, you are 3/4 forgiven. The rest, as I recently told a misbehaving high school buddy who seeks forgiveness, is all about the grovelling.