Amazingly, ‘Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction” wasn’t the top grosser at the box office this weekend. Not financially, anyway. It came in a disappointing ninth, way behind the new “Ice Age” movie and just ahead of “Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector.” Which is good news for most of us”’no “Basic Instinct 3″ looming in the future, with Sharon Stone seducing various other oldsters and then murdering them for their Social Security checks”’and bad news for Stone and MGM.

They should have seen it coming. The reviews were beyond awful, and test audiences mocked the star’s asymmetrical breasts. (Girls, take note: when getting your boobs re-perkified, never buy factory seconds. It’s like replacing your tires with retreads.) Pajiba gave the movie a big thumbs-down in an insightful review, although the reviewer felt that Stone’s nympho-granny vibe was only part of the problem. Mostly he blamed the script, for being too slow-moving and a little too classy for this sort of endeavor. A movie like this he felt, needed to be made by “men who really get off on this premise, men who are little better than rutting pigs.” The producers are probably kicking themselves for not bringing Michael Moore onboard.