So far, we’ve resisted the temptation to comment on Jessica Simpson’s unfortunate weight gain and her much more unfortunate mom jeans. If she’s happy saying “I am big, it’s the pants that got small,” that’s her business. Likewise, if she chooses to wear clothing that affects most hetero men like a whack in the crotch with a two-by-four, we’re not going to second-guess her fashion decisions. Basically, making fun of a celebrity who’s reduced to opening for Rascal Flatts at the KISS Country Chili Cookoff somewhere in Florida would take more sadism than I can muster. But now some sources are suggesting the rather abrupt weight gain might be a cynical publicity ploy by that trashcan Machiavelli, Joe Simpson (scroll down a bit):

Before we pity the star for packing on unwanted pounds, let’s remember how well weight gain-and-loss stories sell magazines. “She’s loving it,” said a source close to Simpson, who suspects her weight gain is strategic. “It will probably get her back on covers right when she is a ‘supporting’ act on tour. I bet Joe [Simpson] has already sold the weight-loss story.”

If there’s any truth to this, then so far it’s working. Swelling up like a zeppelin has gotten Jessica more coverage in the last five days than she’s gotten in the previous five months. It will be interesting to see how Papa Joe plans to put Ashlee back on the star maps. With any luck, it will involve something extremely degrading happening to Pete Wentz.