One-hit wonder Sir Bob Geldof is ready to make Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence change her name to something less bothersome. Specifically, he’d like her to lose the “Hutchence.”

The background to this sounds like about three seasons’ worth of an exceptionally implausible television show, but here goes: Back in the 1970s Geldof hooked up with Paula Yates, and the two eventually married in 1986. In 1995, Paula left Bob for INXS frontman Michael Hutchence. Two years later Hutchence died under circumstances too well known to rehash here, and three years after that Paula died of a heroin overdose. Heavenly Hiraani et cetera is the daughter of Michael Hutchence and Paula, and the half-sister of Sir Bob and Paula’s three daughters. Geldof adopted her shortly after Paula’s death, and now he’d like her to take his name.

Geldof had his lawyers inform the Hutchence family of his intentions, and they’re predictably unhappy about this. The appropriateness of the name change is a matter for Sir Bob and Whatsherface—who is all of eleven years old, incidentally—to decide. Still, if she’s going to change surnames, couldn’t she change her front handle to Emily Jane or something? Of course, a name like that would leave Hiraani open to merciless teasing from her half-sisters Fifi Trixibelle Geldof and Little Pixie Geldof. Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof, however, would probably support the Emily Jane option.