About five months ago, right around the time she released Stars Are Blind in her bid to become a singing sensation, Paris Hilton made the even more preposterous claim that she planned to remain celibate for a whole year. So how is this no-sex plan working out? Just fine, to hear Paris tell it: “I have been celibate for about six or seven months, I think. I would rather just make out and kiss someone instead of sex.� Well, I believe that. But then I also sent most of my savings to that earnest guy from the Nigerian Oil Ministry, because I believe that trust is the one thing most tragically lacking in the world today. I held back a few bucks to pay for a fresh supply of penile enlargement pills, which are going to kick in any day now.

Hollywood Rag also covered this story, and one of their commenters remembered this story from X17 Online back at the beginning of November. A choice bit from the story was this phone exchange between Paris and long-suffering boy toy Stavros Niarchos:

–I’m sitting here with a bunch of idiots; I’ve been with them for 3 nights and I’m sick of it!
–If you’re not out here in five minutes, we’re not f*cking tonight!
–You better get your ass in this car, you f*cking asshole!

Charming. Maybe Paris should set a more realistic goal for herself, like breaking all ten commndments and committing all seven deadly sins by January 1. I’m pretty sure all she’d have to do to complete the list would be to worship a graven image.