Take this with a grain of salt, because so far there aren’t many credible sources for this tidbit. But, if the National Enquirer and about a million credulous bloggers can be believed, Britney Spears spawned last night, as she does each September. Kind of like the grunion, only on a different calendrical cycle. The birth was Ms. Spears’ second by Caesarean, and what they found when they opened her up was, to everyone’s surprise, a boy, which means that the perfectly awful name Jailynn and a whole lot of pink baby paraphernalia will go unused in this breeding cycle. They’ll just have to wait for future Septembers, and the arrival of Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, and Q-bert. And, of course, little Phil. Britney might want to get a zipper installed.

- Image by Gallery of the Absurd