Many thousands of extra visitors have visited this blog today and yesterday. One would think that’s a good thing, but no. These people were just passing through in hopes of catching Britney Spears in a marvelously compromising position. Eventually they succeeded elsewhere, but it was far from marvelous.

In about nine months, we should expect a reverse baby boom around the globe due to the astounding lack of sex drive observed by viewing Britney Spears and Her Vagina™. You might scoff at such a notion, but ’tis true - I haven’t been able to have sex in days.

At any rate, it is often wondered why paparazzi are such hounds about gaining photographs of their coveted subjects. The answer is just so bloody obvious - because we will all look at them. That means money in their pockets, and less in Kevin Federline’s enterprising mind. Britney Spears and Her Vagina™ are worth nothing to him now, so any pictures or film footage he has squirreled away are essentially valueless.

The hunger for these repulsive photographs is alarming. I asked a guy about this horrible curiosity concerning Britney Spears and Her Vagina™ that have driven other gossip blogs (definitely Celebitchy and Evil Beet) into a traffic frenzy as well. His response: “It’s Britney Spears and her crotch. They used to be hot.”

And it’s all so marvelously discouraging…