Okay, why is Britney bashed as tabloid fodder while Angelina is deified as a humanitarian goddess? HELLO - Jolie is completely NUTS. This Pitt thing will soon flame out & she’ll be back to her usual hijinks. Whom would you rather have raising your kid? At least you know Sean Preston will be well-behaved, because Mommy will smack his butt if he acts up. Maddox, on the other hand, is already a spoiled brat well on his way to star-kiddie reform school.
| Britney | Angelina | |||
| Vitals | b.1981 McComb, MS. 5′4 | b.1975 Los Angeles 5′8 | ||
| Big break | New Mickey Mouse Club (with Timberlake, Aguilera, Keri Russell, & Ryan Gosling) | Being Jon Voight’s daughter | ||
| Indian chic | Undisclosed tribe | Iroquois (mother’s side) | ||
| White trash | Hails from Pike County, MS. | Mother born in bowling alley | ||
| AC/DC? | No | Will screw anything | ||
| Tattoos | Kabbalah symbol (neck); Chinese calligraphy (hip); pink dice (wrist); fairy (lower back); daisy (toe); butterfly (foot); Japanese flower (down there) | H (wrist); Tennessee Williams quote (forearm); prayer (shoulder, covers Death tattoo); tribals (lower back); Quod me nutrit me destruit (below navel); Latin cross (abs); tiger, dragon (back); XIII (l. arm); Arabic (r. arm); know your rights (shoulders); lat./long. coordinates (l. arm, covers Billy Bob tattoo) | ||
| History books | Only woman to have 1st 4 albums debut at #1 | Oscar for playing mental patient (a real stretch) | ||
| Razzie Nominations |
Fahrenheit 9/11 (Worst Supporting Actress, winner), Crossroads (Worst Actress, winner) | Alexander, Beyond Borders, Lara Croft I, Lara Croft II, Life (Worst Actress) | ||
| Infidelity | Timberlake suggested Britney’s cheating led to breakup of their 4yr relationship | Widely rumored to have been Other Woman in Pitt / Aniston train wreck | ||
| Scumbag quotient | Married dancer / gigolo Kevin Federline, who left pregnant girlfriend & 2yo daughter for Spears | Married 4x loser / restraining order item Billy Bob Thornton, wore his blood in vial around neck | ||
| Oops! | Jason Allen Alexander (married to Spears for 48 hours) | ;Tell-all lesbo homewrecker Jenny Shimizu | ||
| Reasons to be worried | Visited by Child Protective Services, criticized by Transportation Secretary Norm Mineta for driving with Sean Preston on lap | Facilitator in Maddox’ adoption convicted of fraud & money laundering in baby-selling network | ||
| Net worth | $125 million (?) | $27 million (Forbes 2004) | ||
| Author! | Britney Spears’ Crossroads Diary (ages 4-8) | Notes From My Travels | ||
| Iconization | Ooky sculpture Birth of Sean Preston | United Nations Goodwill Ambassador | ||
| Wisdom | "My prerogative right now is to just chill & let the other over- exposed blondes on the cover of US Weekly be your entertainment." | "When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers I kind of wanted to be a vampire." |
16 comments
I agree. I like Angelina, but this thing has lost all perspective. In our mags here they were calling her new baby the most anticipated birth since Jesus. It wasn’t satire either…
AHEM!
If anybody knows Britney, it’s me, and she’s been underneath Jenna Jameson in more than just web searches, if you know what I mean…
And if you don’t…I mean sex.
She had sex, with a girl.
I hope.
Please let it be true.
Just…just let this one thing be true…
Well it’s obviously ..I mean thisi site is to give Britney good publicity that she very much needed.
Jolie is a reall goddess.Life is like a wheel..and good luck comes with good work as with Mrs, Smith.
Give it UP, Stansbury!
I’d hit Angelina Jolie.
::: sigh :::
You & Sondra. The fact remains Angelina is PSYCHO.
Jenna Jameson?? PUH-LEEZE
You neglected the rumors surrounding Angelina’s relationship with her brother. Remember the kissing on the lips before some awards show? I’m with you, Beautiful, Angelina is an absolute psycho. Britney’s just a little white trashy. OK maybe a lot white trashy.
These simple equivalences should explain any remaining mystery about the relative treatment of these two noted women.
Britney = Betty.
Angelina = Veronica.*
*Teh hawt, pr0n vampire Veronica.
Dammit. Flea just nailed it.
I never liked Veronica Lodge
Agent Bedhead:
Beautiful Atrocities: WTF? Veronica is the bomb. She is like the ur-babe or something.
Hmm. That wasn’t the smiley I wanted. I was after the blushing smiley.
She was the mean one. And Betty was nice but a little … slow? Is that what you’re saying about our Brit?
I just wanna know when we’re gonna get some sweet, sweet Betty on Veronica defiling. Frankly, I don’t care who defiles who, as long as there’s defiling.
Dadgumit, it’s been 60 fargin’ years, and Archie’s not gonna do the deed, let’s at least get our 10ยข worth. We ain’t buyin’ these funny books for our health, you know!
(P.S. You promise me, over and over, girl on girl action. Freakin’ tease.)
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