Our Lady Charlotte has bestowed us with the smallest of mercies by vowing that she will not pose naked while she is pregnant. According to Charlotte’s mother, “Demi and Britney did it, but it is not for our Charl.”
Speaking of tissues and issues, Char is also looking forward to her white wedding and has chosen Margam Country Park in Port Talbot, Wales as the venue for screaming her wedding vows. Her original venue choice was dashed aside by Charlotte’s newfound knowledge of its popularity as a public sex hotspot:
The Welsh singer, 21, originally chose Cardiff’s 17th-century Castell Coch – which in Welsh means The Red Castle – for its beauty and proximity to her home, but was dismayed by police reports of explicit activities in the castle’s vicinity.
A source said: “Charlotte was made aware of the dogging and had concerns. After speaking to Gavin they looked for a different venue.”
In addition, Charlotte is expected to field many offers from the glossy tabloids in regard to publishing her wedding photos. “[I]f you’re talking about a cool million quid each – f**k it, yeah. Don’t be stupid, of course we would.” That’s our girl!
2 comments
I find it strangely fitting that she’s blown up and we’re getting married in “Wales”. But I thought it was spell whales, and they were talking about what I’m marrying, being of the beached variety.
She puts the ‘harlot’ in Charlotte… just na-has-ty.
Period.
The end.