Dear Chris Noth,
It has recently come to my attention that you have “let yourself go” in the most unflattering of manners:
Letting oneself go is most commonly a phenomenon bitched about by males concerning their female counterparts. Yet I cannot help but observe that an equal or greater percentage of men over the age of thirty completely cease all physical activity, and unfortunately, you, Chris Noth, are one of these men. In addition, the drunken subway tomfoolery is something that I cannot continue to overlook, in part because of your recent tipping of the proverbial scales. Despite the devilishly endearing smile that never fails to make this agent reach for the smelling salts, I am afraid that you will be dropped off my “list” in the near future, excepting a reversal of this inauspicious development.
Absofuckinglutely,
Agent Bedhead
10 comments
Amen, sister. Amen!
[...] Big man Chris Noth - Agent Bedhead [...]
Who the hell is Chris Noth?
Obviously, you don’t recognize him from his former hotness.
Law and Order, Sex and the City…
That oughta straighten him up.
Not being a perfect physical specimen myself, I can’t complain about a little pudge on a man. But I could sure put my foot down over that godawful hat and the baby blue trunks with the pink fishies. Good God, man! Have some self-respect.
BA: He used to be the hotheaded young cop on Lawn Order.
Surely, though, even a tubby Noth is worth a hundred scabby Dohertys.
Har! Your pictures have precipitated a discussion with my boyfriend: “Would you wear trunks like that, dear?” “No, I have manly Hawaiian print swim trunks. See? Here they…wait a minute. Look at that. The elastic has shrunk in these! Boy, they don’t make things like they used to, eh?”
He’s still not as tubby as Chris, there. And I have forbidden him the hat.
I realize that I’m going to sound like a huge hypocrite but for the love of whatever diety you hold dear, Mr. Noth - you have really let yourself go. On an unrelated topic….As with many of your frequent guests, I didn’t even know who Pete Doherty was, nor did I care. Now I can’t get enough of him. I’m ashamed to admit that I come back day after day, just to see what he’s been up to. Long Live Agent Bedhead!
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie….
He was screen testing for the new revival they are doing of Baretta. Or, the Bob Ulrich biopic, focusing on the Dan Tanna years.
THAT’S THE GUY WHO BANGED WHOOPI GOLDBERG!
I was going crazy trying to remember.
Ted Danson?
The guys with a little pudge are hotter in bed than the guys so worried about staying in shape that they keep looking in mirrors, or spend their passion on the gym or themselves.
A fella that likes his food is often interested in other…pleasures of the flesh.
I would still trip Mr. Noth, beat him to the floor and take some sweet time wiggling out from underneath!
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