Are these two chicks — aside from the obvious similarities of dress and stance — supposed to actually resemble one another? If so, I’m definitely not seeing it.

Some obscure former gymnast (cue “bendy” comment) named Alison Carroll has stepped into the Lara Croft combat boots to promote the Tomb Raider “Underworld” game coming out in November. This guy seizes upon Alison’s flexibility as an obvious advantage: “She can make the same poses that you make with your Lara Croft action-figure doll when you’re imagining yourself hittin’ that.” Meanwhile, this dude covets the well-rounded assets of Alison, who is, allegedly, a “hotter piece of meat” than Jolie as well as “pretty slammin.” Naturally, I must respectfully disagree with both of these guys, who are obviously talking, albeit intentionally, with their dicks.

Nobody can possibly follow Angelina Jolie and manage to look any better, but I’m of the opinion that Jolie still remains the sexiest damn woman in Hollywood. This other chick looks like some sorority sister in a Halloween costume. Not that, uh, I’d know anything at all about that.