Here’s your first sign of just how hard this year’s crop of summer movies will suck. Bratz—The Movie, a live-action feature based on the insanely popular line of slutpuppets, is on track to hit the theatres this August. Even better, Paula Abdul will be coming on board to lend her unique, chemically enhanced perspective to the project’s casting and choreography. She’ll also be playing a major role in the movie itself.

It’s hard to imagine what could make this project sound worse. I can, however, think of one or two ambitious young actors who’d be so perfect as Bratz that the parts practically cast themselves. Not Britney, though. It would be better to hold her in reserve for 2008’s blockbuster sequel, Doltz.