Corey Feldman has officially driven a stake into poor Corey Haim’s heart. Apparently, during last year’s intriguing reality series, “The Two Coreys,” Feldman lied through his non-vampiric fangs about his involvement in a Lost Boys sequel. Not that I watched the aforementioned show, of course, but Stacey Nosek sacrificed her own sanity to report on Feldman’s double-talking jive:

[W]e get to the part we all know is coming — Feldman sitting Haim down and explaining to him that there is going to be a Lost Boys sequel, and no Haimster, you’re not invited. And I love how Feldman snidely manages to throw in that they did ask him for a cameo, but he reverently declined. There’s the old Feld we all know and love! Haim cries, and I’m just blown away at this point that Feldman is the only one of these morons who has yet to shed a tear so far. A dejected Haim goes out for a walk with his tail between his legs and returns home with a belated wedding gift for the Feldmans. I don’t know why, exactly, since he spent the entire episode bitching about their marriage ruining his friendship — but whatever.

Nice how Feldman comes off all brotherly and shit, like, Dude, I so wouldn’t do that to you. We’re like, brothers, or something. Coreys forever, man!

A very short few months later, we now arrive at the post-production phase of Lost Boys 2: The Tribe. Interestingly, Feldman not only appears in the film but plays a much larger role than his purported “cameo” mention. Smooth move, dickwad.

Of course, the sequel will be far less enthralling than the original, and I’m sensing a “Beverly Hills, 90210: The College Years” vibe where the parents sort of disappear and leave the teens to themselves. Obviously, Joel Schumacher won’t be directing because he was, uh, busy. Some casting details follow:

Tad Hilgenbrink and Autumn Reeser star as Chris and Nicole, respectively, son and daughter of Michael and Star (Jason Patric and Jamie Gertz’s characters from the first film). With their parents gone, they relocate to Luna Bay where Nicole unknowingly takes a vampire for her boyfriend. Chris then turns to the authority on bloodsucker beatdowns Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman reprising his role) for help. Leader of the new vamp pack is actor Angus Sutherland, real-life brother of Kiefer, here playing Shane who travels the world with his fanged chums. Yes, they’re surfing vampires.

According to the latest vampiric lore, the sequel will include a return of “Cry Little Sister” and the Meathead Sax Player. For his part, Feldman remains ecstatic about a possible third installment and a reported four-issue DC Comics series to bridge the gaps between the first and second Lost Boys storylines. Poor Haimster!

Hee. Oh, but there is more. Although Feldman’s ego has officially gone into lunar orbit, Warner Bros. has just decided that a theater run for The Lost Boys 2: The Tribe is far too risky. As such, the sequel will go straight to a mid-summer DVD release. Now, for the obligatory Edgar Frog promotional stills: