For proof of the ever-widening cultural gulf between Europe and the United States, we need look no further than this video of the Smurfs. Rapping. In German. A German translation of Eminem’s “Guilty Conscience,? to be specific. Look, German can be an absolutely dandy language for rapping, as Falco’s “Rock Me Amadeus” made very clear. (And thanks to our pals The Llamas for reminding me of that one; I hadn’t thought about Falco since the first Bush administration.) But rap lyrics generally sound even worse in translation than they do in the original, and hearing Papa Smurf sing “F*ck this b*tch right on the spot bare/’Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there” is just wrong, in some profoundly transatlantic sense. Hands off our musical traditions, overseas types! We don’t need you and your blue-skinned minions mocking our music, no matter how debased and vacuous it is!
We can do that ourselves just fine, thank you. For example, this video of Barney sharing the words of Tupac Shakur with a bunch of adorable little preschoolers. You thought nothing could be more disturbing than rapping Smurfs? You’re so very naive and optimistic.
(Via Fark.)
