The Brit/FedEx divorce is shaping up as the first reality show that can actually hold my interest. Brit herself brought the brief honeymoon phase of the divorce to a screeching halt by showing up for a pants-free night of fun in Vegas with Paris Hilton. A faster way to lose the public”’s sympathy might have been for Ms. Toxic to announce that she was engaged to Kim Jong-Il, but we”’ll never know. Tough call, either way.
Meanwhile, FedEx is learning the facts of life without the Cash Cow. Nobody wants his album (currently around #17,000 on the Amazon hit parade), and House of Blues couldn”’t even trick people into accepting free tickets to his show. But Kevin is man enough, or pimp enough, to meet this challenge. Showing the depths of character we all knew he had, Britney”’s ex has been taking bids for a marathon sex tape from the early days of their marriage, is fighting for custody of the couple”’s children, and is threatening to release a tell-all book about the real Britney Spears. Basically, he”’s hoping to make himself so unpleasant that she”’ll pay him to go away. Meanwhile, Britney is considering the nuclear option of releasing the sex tape herself, which would be humiliating, but would keep FedEx from making a dime off it.
So: what”’ll you have? Free tickets, or a free sex tape? Personally, I”’d have to go with the tickets. Seeing K-Fed cavort onstage while the audience abuses him sounds pretty damn unpleasant, but not as nasty as having to watch this scumbag enjoying himself.
Update: Word is that Britney and that cyst she had removed are planning one last public appearance to tell the world that there is no sex tape. No way to know whether or not this will be as squirm-inducing as last night”’s public apology by Michael Richards, but we can be certain it won”’t be the last entertaining/uncomfortable moment in this story. Britney”’s divorce is proceeding with the same slow, majestic inevitability as a freight-train collision.
