Teenage boys interested in exploring the mysteries of Teutonic nookie would be well advised to steer clear of the Hoff”””s 16-year-old daughter Taylor Ann. When the girl began dating an older boy, her alpha-cheesemeister dad took the boy aside and gave him one simple rule: ”””If you hurt my daughter in any way, I will take you outside and I will cut your thing off. I will have no problem spending the rest of my life in prison.””?
The Hoff also told the interviewer that he sometimes “disguises” himself by wearing goofy hats, including””” well, a Goofy hat. From Disney World. With floppy ears. I really hope he was wearing that hat when he talked to his daughter”””s boyfriend, because when you’re telling a guy that you’re crazy enough to chop off his dick, the Goofy hat is a fashion statement that tells the world that’s exactly how crazy you are.
Side note from phineas g. : Teh Hoff has signed on to play the flamboyant homosexual Roger DeBris in The Producers with will be playing in Vegas! Can this be happening? Really, it’s almost like a comedic dream come true. If I were to, um, dream about teh Hoff. Anyhoo, with the Hoff’s new leading role and his keenness of fondling other people’s penises its no wonder we might start to question his sexuality.
If evidence surfaces that he wants to spend the rest of his time on this spinning ball of mud in prison because he thinks the “love” scenes in Oz are hot, well there won’t be any questioning about his homoerotic fantasies now will there?
