Despite yesterday’s publicist denial to the contrary, David Beckham has announced that he will depart Real Madrid at the end of this season to sign for LA Galaxy in a five-year contract thought to be worth ”128 million ($250 million).

“After discussing several options with my family and my advisors to either stay here in Madrid or join other major British and European teams I have decided to join LA Galaxy and play in the MLS from August this year.”

Playing soccer in the United States is basically career suicide for a man of Beckham’s reported stature. Certainly Victoria will be most pleased to have Katie Holmes at her willing disposal, which perhaps is why David is talking in altruistic terms about his decision.

“Soccer is huge everywhere around the world, except in America. That’s where I want to make a difference with the kids.”

Essentially, David’s legacy will be to teach American children to do nothing but outstanding free kicks, because that’s his only skill as a soccer player. And surely this latest career move has nothing to do with the painful dismissal from the England team after losing the World Cup or subsequent relegation to the sidelines at Real Madrid.

David Beckham may be hot, but he possesses “a pig-headed streak that will always prove his downfall.” This cockiness recently erected itself when he defied his Real Madrid manager’s orders and jetted off to Italy for Tom Cruise’s Italy wedding weekend. David didn’t mind giving his boss the finger despite his ”100,000 per week salary. He’s probably also sooper pissed that he didn’t land that self-groomed knighthood. Oh bugger.

See also Victoria Beckham and Her Nipples Will Destroy Us All