Apparently anybody can get a job writing for a major magazine. At least, as long as you’re somebody. And Peaches Geldof is somebody, in a manner of speaking. The 19-year-old already has a lucrative career based on clubhopping, drug taking, and being generally useless and annoying, but her ambitions go far beyond that. So, based on her experience editing a magazine for MTV (where she charmed her co-workers), Peaches decided to become a columnist for Nylon magazine, writing about life in New York from the perspective of an expat Londoner. Such was Peaches’ fame that Nylon snapped her up, never even bothering to find out if she could, you know, write.

Bad mistake. The terrifyingly vacuous column, which uses many hundreds of words to tell the reader absolutely nothing whatsoever, generated what the Daily Mail called “a hail of abuse.” More than 1000 readers commented on the piece in the first three days after it was posted, and the number of positive comments could be counted on the toes of one hand. Nylon deleted the nastiest attacks. Unfortunately, that meant the hundreds of remaining comments were actually substantive, and thus even more hurtful. A few typical examples:

The banality is shocking. Get some life experience, keep your head down and until you do, save us from this insipid, vacuous social commentary that justifies the dislike of you.

Well now, NYLON, if you’re hiring: we have other talented writers in the UK. Ever heard of Kerry Katona? Katie Price? Jodie Marsh? I suggest you move fast, in case they get snapped up by other publications!”

It’s a safe bet that Peaches’ column won’t become a permanent fixture over at Nylon. Right now, the poor girl is probably thinking that life as a professional party girl sounds better by the minute.