Denise Richards has played a starship pilot (Starship Troopers), a psycho high-school brat (Wild Things), and a nuclear physicist (The World Is Not Enough), among other roles. Whatever the role, she always displays about as much range and versatility as a dog whistle. But her personal life has enough variety and excitement for half a dozen bimbos. First she married Charlie Sheen, who holds the coveted Robert Downey, Jr. Award for Lunacy in Hollywood, and then she left Charlie to steal Richie Sambora away from Heather Locklear (a favor for which Heather really owes Denise a muffin basket). And still the fun continues. Yesterday Denise was on the set of her new movie, Blonde and Blonder, shooting a scene at the River Rock Casino in British Columbia. A couple of paparazzi got in her face to an extent Denise wouldn”’t tolerate, so Denise grabbed their laptops and threw them off the balcony of the hotel. One of them struck the arm of an 80-year-old woman confined to a wheelchair, and the RCMP were called out to restore order.

Berserk paparazzi, angry confrontations, and a senseless attack on a frail old lady. And Mounties. That”’s more excitement than I pack into a typical week. The picture, incidentally, shows Denise on the movie set with her co-star, Pamela Anderson. I bet Denise can”’t even portray a bimbo convincingly.