Reports are spreading through the intertubes that Jessica Alba has herpes, courtesy of Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. The source for this story was a blogger for L.A. Rag Mag, who claimed on the Adam Carolla Show to have a source who worked for Cash Warren, Jessica’s ex, and who regularly picked up her Valtrex prescription. This sounds a little sketchy all by itself, but the real news here is the (otherwise unsupported) claim that Derek Jeter was the Hot Zone for this particular infection. Jeter has had an active love life. Aside from Ms. Alba, he’s also been linked with Mariah Carey, Scarlett Johanssen, Vanessa Minnillo, and Jessica Biel. Among others. If he’s infected all, or even most, of his partners, then he’s ruined the fantasies of most of the heterosexual men in this country and given them yet another reason to hate Derek Jeter. And it doesn’t stop there. Jessica Biel could have passed the big H on to Justin Timberlake, and from there…. Ah, it’s not worth thinking about. Basically, anyone who ventures into Hollywood had better plan on wearing one of those full-body condoms from the Naked Gun movies.