Pete Doherty’s mess of a life has been transformed into a children’s moralistic tale of how not to carry oneself into oblivion. “A Boy Called Pete” appropriately chronicles the story of a cartoonishly famous singer called Pete. Some highlights, if you will:

• “[O]nce upon a time he was a very clever and handsome man.”
• “Pete can play guitar and sing at the same time, but not always.”
• “Sometimes Pete falls over a lot.”
• “Pete made special friends with a very famous lady called Kate.”
• Pete and his special friend Kate are “always getting into trouble.”
• “Class A drugs are not very good for you. They make you smelly and a bit untidy looking.”
• “[H]is life is like a sitcom. You don’t know when he will get arrested next.”
• Pete is no longer famous for singing songs and must stay in “a very big house with high walls” since “London has lots of rules and lots of authority.”

It is worth noting that since Pete has spent only a few months of his life in prison, it would seem that London hasn’t much authority over him. Perhaps the possiblity of appearing untidy and smelly will deter the yoots of western civilization. One can hope.

“A Boy Called Pete” is just one of the adequately narrated brilliantly illustrated pop biographies in a series called “Popjustice Icons” by Peter Robinson. Available for Amazon UK while supplies last. To take a gander at the whole set from Popjustice. You’ll be positively bloody chuffed.

See also (via the marvelous Wit Of The Staircase) the Times Online review.

UPDATE: Music Rooms is reporting that the Popjustice author has struck a deal to convert the Doherty book into animation. That just doesn’t sound right unless it’s for an anti-drug campaign. No word from the author yet.