Comments on: Thou Shalt Not Masturbate During Ramadan

By: docweasel

docweasel — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 04:22:54 +0000

So say you’re an Arab (like Ahab) and you’re out in the desert, far from any women, amongst the camels, and you’re not even allowed to pitch a tent?

Harsh.

By: docweasel

docweasel — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 03:22:54 +0000

So say you’re an Arab (like Ahab) and you’re out in the desert, far from any women, amongst the camels, and you’re not even allowed to pitch a tent?

Harsh.

By: Martin

Martin — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 02:25:32 +0000

It’s mine, and I’ll wash it as fast as I want.

By: Martin

Martin — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 02:25:32 +0000

It’s mine, and I’ll wash it as fast as I want.

By: Philbrick

Philbrick — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 22:50:25 +0000

Yikes! All that time without the barest essentials could make a man explode.

Sorry.

By: Philbrick

Philbrick — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 22:50:25 +0000

Yikes! All that time without the barest essentials could make a man explode.

Sorry.

By: beautifulatrocities

beautifulatrocities — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 04:17:51 +0000

Thanks, Beth. I have accidents EVERY DAY

By: beautifulatrocities

beautifulatrocities — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 04:17:51 +0000

Thanks, Beth. I have accidents EVERY DAY

By: Beth

Beth — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 02:38:10 +0000

“If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen”

Yes, Phin. As long as you’re only doing it by ACCIDENT, you’re OK.

Or maybe if you just don’t intend to discharge semen. I dunno. But clearly the epileptic fit is halal. Or whatever the fuck they call it.

Also, if it itches, surely you wouldn’t want to SCRATCH it, but some friction would be in order to relieve the itch. I’ve never heard of any fatwa about itching, y’know. Not even during the goat mont–er, Ramadan.

By: Beth

Beth — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 02:38:10 +0000

“If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen”

Yes, Phin. As long as you’re only doing it by ACCIDENT, you’re OK.

Or maybe if you just don’t intend to discharge semen. I dunno. But clearly the epileptic fit is halal. Or whatever the fuck they call it.

By: LeeAnn

LeeAnn — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 22:48:57 +0000

What a bunch of party poopers…this religion of Allah. Whoops, I forgot that killing is okay.

By: LeeAnn

LeeAnn — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 22:48:57 +0000

What a bunch of party poopers…this religion of Allah. Whoops, I forgot that killing is okay.

By: phin

phin — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:52:10 +0000

Hey, he just says Deliberate masturbation, so if my hand accidentally happens to make it’s way into my britches and I have an epileptic fit in that arm I’m good right?

By: phin

phin — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:52:10 +0000

Hey, he just says Deliberate masturbation, so if my hand accidentally happens to make it’s way into my britches and I have an epileptic fit in that arm I’m good right?

By: mr. atoz

mr. atoz — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:30:18 +0000

That’s why I put up the Rosie O’Donnell post, ma’am. Just doing my bit for the Religion of Peace.

By: mr. atoz

mr. atoz — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:30:18 +0000

That’s why I put up the Rosie O’Donnell post, ma’am. Just doing my bit for the Religion of Peace.

By: beautifulatrocities

beautifulatrocities — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:14:21 +0000

Is that only during the daytime? Is squeezing the python ever okay in the No-Fun Zone of Islam? Can I get someone to do it for me?

By: beautifulatrocities

beautifulatrocities — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:14:21 +0000

Is that only during the daytime? Is squeezing the python ever okay in the No-Fun Zone of Islam? Can I get someone to do it for me?