Popbitch tosses a bit of gossip into the ether that is supposed to be about Owen Wilson, but clearly, that’s not what’s really going on here:

Owen Wilson may have another reason to slit his wrists. Owen’s ex, Kate Hudson, is currently snuggling up to second-rate comic Dax Shepard, who made his name doing Punk’d with Ashton Kutcher. So what’s the attraction? Well, Dax is known for being “hung like a grandfather clock”. [sic] Whenever Dax and Ashton used to go out drinking together [sic] Kutcher would make Dax pull his dick out and wave it around because he was so amused at seeing a wang “as thick as a coke can”. [sic]

Lots of stuff going on here, but we are primarily interested in why Ashton Kutcher wants to repeatedly see Dax Shepard’s dick. Amused or not, this only lends credence to the “Ashton Kutcher Clearly Has Issues” cause.